Summers End

Conjuring 2
James Wan

No matter how fucking hard I try, not matter how many ideas I have rattling through my little tiny fucking brain – I can’t bring myself to, either, stop working long enough, or get off my lazy fucking ass, to put to paper, this shit rattling through my tiny little brain.

With that said, I’m just going to start rambling off some shit about the summer and how I incorporated my love for genre films and tentpole shit fests – With festival season, rearing it’s ugly head upon us, TIFF is in less than a week, with a slew of, what seems to be awful trite, in comparison to previous years – and SXSW kicking off with some fucking gnarly looking bad ass horror and heavy hitter genre flicks. I feel it’s perfectly fitting to say goodbye and summarize this movie going season……


So, horror had a big fucking run! A great fucking run!! Horror movies OWNED and DOMINATED the box office all fucking year man. R Rated horror movies – It’s like 2016 was the year the studios finally realized the only way out was up? Or would that be down? Either way, The Conjuring 2 was the only serious heavy hitting tent pole blockbuster contender. In the sense that, as far as numbers go it could compete with other Blockbusters – With films like, The Green Room, being made for under $4 million and pulling in, insane profits from VOD and overseas markets – Don’t Breathe just shattering box office expectations and knocking Suicide Squad off top spot at the weekend box office. Lights Out being made for peanuts and profiting almost 50 times its own budget (That’s a fucking huge hit btw, Paranormal Activity 1 couldn’t even do that) The fact that all of these very R rated visceral horror films are also critically praised, as being something that helps propel their own genre forward, for once. (Horror movies have been riddled with cliche after cliche since the dawn of the genre) With all of this, studios are finally starting to realize, the only true horror movies, are the ones made with passion and integrity. We can all think of scary horrible things, shocking things, things that go bump in the night! It takes a true Auteur and someone that truly cares about this genre, to express something truly fucking frightening to it’s audience, that is also, at once, truly unused, devoid of cliche, relevant and topical. Someone is finally financing proper horror, good horror – we DON’T need another played out tired version of Halloween, directed by a has been, because it seemed like a good idea. We don’t fucking need another Jason Vorhees, we don’t need another Freddy – Slasher flicks are dead, Slasher flicks are what almost dismantled and made horror movies completely fucking irrelevant. We’ve seen in recent memory, that you can reinvent the wheel, with the tried and true – Cabin in the Woods stories, Paranormal stories – Psychological thrillers, Tarkovsky style psychological horrors, it can be done. What they’ve tried and tried and tried to no avail, was to reinvent the wheel for Slasher flicks – I will agree, it worked kinda once, with Behind the Mask (Still waiting for a follow up) But that’s like saying adding a comedic element to zombie fare, made zombie movies relevant and awesome again (I for one have been sick of the retreading of the same fucking shit since the original Dawn of the Dead) It just wasn’t the case.

Holy fucking lost my train of thought, if I even fucking had one. Look what I’m trying to say is, I’m proud of these new directors I’m happy with the old directors – In this specific genre – 2016 has done more for Horror movies and Horror in general than any other year in recent history. I’m super happy, I hope to see more and more and more. Even television – Stranger Things has put an entirely new spin on Science Fiction Horror – Ash VS The Evil Dead is returning this  October for it’s 2nd season, which if, is even half as good as the first, will be a treat for total Ash addicts like myself.

Well, since I have to get back to work and managed to say a whole fucking lot without actually saying anything at all – I will leave you with the Stranger Things Season 2 Teaser.

I promise, to the 2 fucking people that are lucky enough to read this bullshit every 2 months – I will write something regarding Summer tent pole – Blockbusters in my next outing – to end off the 2016 summer – It will be hard, because the blockbusters this year, save for maybe Jason Bourne, were just fucking garbage. Oh yah, watch these shits – open your fucking mind man.


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