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Attack!

I suppose, although, albeit, I don’t have a lot to say about any of this. I am going to write some stuff about some movies I watched recently. I am going to most likely, tell you whether or not you should watch them.

So, as for sequels, well, I only watched one sequel recently. Let me tell you, this was up there with some of the best sequels around, especially in it’s genre. in 2008 (I fucking hate buzz words) a GENRE BENDING film was released. It was a horror, monster movie, found footage – That was directed by a guy that, had really only ever written a bunch of stupid movies. He did some TV, he wrote some Felicity, he wrote my dad’s favorite shit movie, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory – Hah I hope he reads this. His only real directing credit was for The Pallbearer – which, was released in the summer of 1996. Now I believe at the time, the hottest actors were, the cast of Friends. I mean, they were the highest paid actors in Hollywood, even higher paid than not just most, but ALL movie stars. In 1996 they were all making around 1 million an episode. So with that kind of paycheck, the studios that controlled and owned Friends on NBC – Which, I believe would have been Dimension films in the 90’s – also owned Miramax, you’ll notice with a lot of movies that were made in the 90’s, with the cast of Friends, they were produced by Miramax studios. (currently debunked, see my previous post for a certain fat fucking shit director that was pretty much fucking toast the day Miramax closed it’s doors) So, sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn’t. Shit movies were written for the cast of Friends, all produced by the heaviest hitting Jews in Hollywood, Bob and Harvey Weinstein (Owners of Dimension and Miramax) I could generate a list of the crap that they made but that’s not why we’re here. Anyways!! The Pallbearer starred, David Schwimmer, as a man that is asked to be the pallbearer, at the funeral of a school friend he doesn’t remember – Hilarity ensues. The movie fucking sucked. Let’s get back to the aforementioned director. The man eventually, seems to have learned how to make a movie after this ….. GENRE BENDING attempt. Drew Goddard was the writer (Cabin in the Woods, Joss Whedons gay lover) Goddard knows how to write a horror flick that goes against the grain, doesn’t use typical conventions and runs from cliches – or like Cabin in the Woods (Scream did it better) juxtapozes itself against it’s own cliches (does that make sense?) Anyway, the director we’re speaking of here is Matt Reeves, a complete and total unknown, and I don’t give a fuck who you are, Cloverfield kicked ass (that’s the movie we’re talking about) it was a great monster movie, trying not to show too much, not riddled with cliches in that specific genre (unfortunately now, everyone tries to replicate how well the found footage was done in Cloverfield)

I’m getting seriously side tracked here, the man went on to do Let Me In (Arguably one of the better remakes of the 21st century)(A remake of Let the Right One In)(Can you do that? I’ve said it before, my writing skills are about as good as a 6 year old with down syndrome, can you have brackets after brackets for other thoughts?) Matt Reeves is all about the Planet of the Apes remakes now, which are decent, he seems to be doing a good job.

Haha, read that shit!! Fuck I get going and I start rambling. SO!! I fucking watched, and you can too, trust me it’s fucking worth, it is now On Demand! and easily accessible, if you’re a useless cunt that doesn’t have a job, feel free to download it.

 

Horror – Drama 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016 – Dan Trachtenberg – John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead)

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10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

Now, I’ll start by giving a quick synopsis –

“After getting in a car accident, a woman is held in a shelter with two men, who claim the outside world is affected by a widespread chemical attack.”

Not the greatest synopsis – I mean, from the beginning of the film, this is what we’re lead to believe. John Goodman is absolutely fucking brilliant in this. If you didn’t know, Walter Sobchak is probably my favorite onscreen character of all time. I could see a little bit of that character here. He was intense, he was frightening, he was sad, he conveyed a ridiculous range of emotion here – by the 3rd act you felt like you really didn’t know the character at all – the development of the character was top shelf, one of the best actors of our time, can handle his shit – what I mean by not knowing the character at all, is his unpredictability, which really shines in the 3rd act of the film.

This is, what seems to be, an “unoffical” sequel to Cloverfield – Most people would believe this to be true. What you get is a group of 3 people in a fallout shelter – owned and operated by none other than John Goodmans character “Howard” who seems to be coping with the loss of his family, due to his obsessions, doomsday and safety and so forth. So, a girl gets in a car accident after leaving her boyfriend (kinda spoilers, but the ending is too good here for me to spoil so you’re okay) She wakes up on a mattress, with a broken leg, in a dark damp concrete room – From there John Goodman continues to come into the room to bring her food and tend to her – all the while trying to convince her that there has been a chemical attack on the US and everything is dead outside and she can’t leave due to the air. After her leg heals, Goodman lets her finally leave her room to explore the rest of the bunker – here she meets Emmet, played by John Gallagher (fucking fantastic, great character, such a nice guy, he played this role perfectly, fuck for that matter, for a film with only 3 people, they were all amazing)(Oh yeah, the girl, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, people of a certain age, like my age and younger, would remember her as Ramona Flowers)

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Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

Not gonna lie, I liked Scott Pilgrim and I may have found her fucking sexy. All that aside, she kicked ass! in this movie. As the central character, she portrays absolute hopelessness and dread, really well. Moving along, after she meets Emmet and some key scenes where Michelle (Ramona Flowers) tries to either escape or plot to do so and is shown some things on the other side of the bunker that keep her there – They attempt to live a really awkward paranoid family life together inside of this bunker – the characters playing off of each other in some interesting scenes – One that stood out for me was (What’s that game? it’s like pictionary but theres no pictures, just guess the word?) a scene with board games, where John Goodmans character shows, I guess you could say the kind of pyschopath he really is. The one thing that was really cool about Goodmans character is, you can see the amount of intense stress it puts on him, to keep himself grounded and decent. He’s an inch from flipping the fuck out and killing everyone, but he wants to make his little bunker family work for better or worse – It’s a fucking strange dynamic but it worked so well for this movie.

 

So look, just Watch THIS SHIT! It is now up there with one of my favorites of 2016 – I love movies that can actually make the audience feel uncomfortable and begging for more, it was amped up in the paranoia department and was fucking shocking and gruesome, slightly and only at the best of times. The ending of this movie, was fucking crazy, and it takes until that ending to realize that this actually is, an OFFICAL sequel to Cloverfield. I love movies that destory conventions, this is how people should be making sequels and continuing stories FRESH IDEAS – I’m sure every fucking sniveling cunt in Hollywood was having a hayday crying and bitching over this one – Cloverfield made a lot of money – the budget for it’s sequel was less than half the budget for the first film, that never fucking happens, it’s usually the other way around – Kudos to the directors, the actors, the writers and producers – everyone that came together to make a really special movie and one of the best sequels of all time. Fucking check it out, right fucking now.

PS! I have 2 more, they’re threequels, and they fucking kinda sucked. But I liked this movie so much I rambled on so fucking long that it would be better to make a 2 part post. Plus I am supposed to be working – I don’t know how I just wrote this and accomplished what I’ve accomplished today. I’m probably the best at everything in the world is how….

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