Please, somebody welcome me back to the blogosphere.

Blogosphere is such a retarded term. Like I’m attributing to the creation of some sort of contiguous atmosphere by writing a load of bullshit that nobody actually reads anyways…. Im here for da peektures and da veedios… ugghhh…

So like many of you I’ve been sitting on my fat useless ass in the evenings watching movies. Recently I’ve watched a handful of films that have peaked my interest in one way or another and I’d like to share that information with you after this short message about Oliver Stone.

oliver_0

Dear Oliver Stone, You suck my balls, remember 15 years ago when you made your last decent movie? I do it was Natural Born Killers and it was probably the most overrated film regarding the doom generation to come out of.. well… the doom generation but still a damn decent flick none the less. If there’s one thing this fat cat lazy fucking director has lost over time its his ability to cut a film like nobody else on the planet. Have you fucking seen JFK? It won an academy award for editing and as it should have, that film had over 300 cuts in the first 10 minutes… To give you an idea of what that means, the average film has about 150 to 300 cuts in its entirety, thats for your average 2 hour movie. JFK with 300 in 10 minutes inside a 4 HOUR MOVIE, MY GOD. One could only imagine what kind of mess this must have been, thing was, that it wasn’t a mess at all. It was beautifully edited even with all of those jarring scans per second. That takes an editor of talent, there isn’t a single director alive that could cut a movie that many times in that short a time frame and make any sort of sense out of what you had just witnessed it would be an incoherent fuck fest. So what happened? Was it that your concupiscence for current events and world turmoil transferred into a time where everything that was happening was more or less retarded and you just got bored and started doing it for the money? Yeah!! Bingo!! ding ding ding.. Stone had nothing left to go on so, lets take the shittiest football script you can find and make a poorly edited shit pile of a movie around it! THEN lets get a dogen mick fucking douche bag midget actor to play one of the most aggressive, pressuring larger than life characters/legends/conquerors in this worlds history and instead of building a movie around it, lets just turn it into Any Given Sunday 2 with an elephant and call it Alexander. WOOAH! Fucking amazing… THEN lets be the pompous dick hearted coldcocking one out and film a World Trade Center AM propaganda movement film starring Nic Cage of all the douches… fuck me… wait were not fucking done… THEN since were right out of ideas and you’ve done so well directing president after fucking president lets make a follow up to our patriotic prop film with an anti bush bio pic.. wtf.. fucking moron. If that isn’t a blaring contradiction im fucking retarded…

This is what Im getting at Mr Stone. You now, in your oh so alluring and dazzling late career decide to do a sequel to WALLSTREET…. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF… Are you fucking retarded? Wallstreet? Like wallstreet with charlie sheen wallstreet? Holy fucking christ on a cracker… So let me get this straight, wallstreet 2? with Shia Labeouf… (shit ladouche) Now if this isn’t a pathetic cry for money I dont know what is?… Of all the films to do a sequel to? How about a sequel to Platoon with Zac Efron or an NBK sequel with Chris Pine next? Seems like the logical career choice to me! Fucking idiot…. So MEESTER STONE! You were once the greatest director alive in my opinion fucking Nixon, JFK, NBK, The Doors, Born on the fourth of july, Platoon, heaven and earth.. You were the best… My question to you is, exactly when did you remove your penis and shove it up your own ass?

With that said…

zombieland-teaser-ps

I watched fucking Zombieland last week.. What a fucking show that was… Ruben Fleischer directed this one, and if you dont know who that is, neither do I… but apparently he did still photography on some TV shows.. either way hes gonna be big now cause Zombieland kicked a whole lot of ass.. So it stars Jesse Eisenberg as a sniveling survivor of the zombie plague as he embarks on a slow tedious mission to get back to columbus to find his parents.. In his travels he meets up with… WOODY FUCKING HARRELSON~!!! OH MAN YES! Harrelson is in top form here as a hardened zombie annihilator he kicks major ass.. The 2 reluctantly pair up and set out to kill zombies and find twinkies… Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are in the film as well, they make due to there roles with little to do in the overall film.. they dont really add shit to it nor do they take away from the movie… and at 90 fucking minutes you couldn’t ask for a better movie.. Definitely does not over stay its welcome it sets out and it delivers on every front. Equally as gory as it is fucking hilarious, with the most brilliant cameo of the fucking century care of  Bill Murray.

This is one that you should definitely see in the cinema it needs to be viewed on a large platform its just to big a spectacle.. I loved it and if you have any taste at all im sure you will too.

check out the redband trailer below…

And again, please, keep your hands off your sisters cunny and WATCH THIS SHIT!

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One thought on “Please, somebody welcome me back to the blogosphere.

  1. Well said. Oliver hasn’t done anything good since
    U-turn. I can’t fucking believe it’s been almost 16 years since Natural born killers. wtf?

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