Rant, on a lot.


Choose whether or not you want to read all of this.. It’s entirely up to you.  Jennifers Body premiered this weekend with a staggering 7 million domestically… jesus fucking christ… what an embarassment… You know that Megan Fox has been in the news recently talking shit about Michael Bay constantly, bad mouthing the transformers movies, then people actually have the nerve to say “Oh well shes fucking super hot and fucking michael bay just needs to sit back and take it or nobodies coming to see transformers 3” Whaaaaat the fuck ever, this fucking dim witted retard couldn’t act her way out of a grocery story, let alone a paper bag…   What a fucking moron..  Having tits and ass and a cunt attitude works really well for prostitutes because at the end of it all you can fuck them.  Unless your that homo from Beverly hills 90210, you’re not fucking Megan Fox… Having tits and ass and a cunt attitude and no work ethic and blatant disregard for one of the foremost important and bankable directors working today gets you about as far as Lohan… And we all know where that cunt muscle ended up.  At the bottom of an empty bag of crack cutting herself like a fucking junior high kid… What a joke… So there you have it, fucking eat a dick Megan Fox.  Your not even all that hot, your fucking grossly skinny and now your first lead in a film has completely fucking tanked and you’ve ruined what could have been a nice career for Diablo Cody…


Johnny Depp may or may not be dropping out of the 4th installment of Pirates of the Caribbean… He had initially signed on to a 3 picture deal for the initial trilogy… Not because he wanted to. but as a favor for a friend at disney, Johnny Depp has been quoted as saying that “disney, is everything that is wrong with hollywood today” so obviously you see why he didn’t initially sign on… It was Dick Cook who had convinced him to take part in the trilogy, then after working with Disney on the projects he inked another 4 major motion picture deal with disney… PotC 4, The Lone Ranger, Alice in Wonderland and some other shit that Im not privy to…  So they fired Dick Cook and now Depp has stated that his involvement is somewhat in limbo because of it… YAP YAP… Does anybody really care about Depp anymore? Am I the only person on earth thats sick to death of seeing Edward Scissorhands transformed into 100 different characters every year…  Its all the same… “Oh my god hes such an amazing character actor” mMmMmmmm noooo he’s really not that awesome… Back in the day when he was making films for the sake of making films and for the sake of working he was worth something.  Benny and Joon, Dead Man, Nick of Time and Whats eating gilbert grape… even in his small supporting roles he was much better suited…..  Now hes a joke, an impression of himself…  The sniveling cunt will barely even work inside north america because he finds the people brute and brash and boring (actual quote) (just look at that picture up there… what a pompous ass).. what a fuck this guy is, yet so many of you worship the very ground he pisses on…  Lets have a look at his career… From 1988 to 1995 he made a string of fucking excellent films… wonderful films… Edward scissorhands, Ed Wood, Dead Man, Gilbert Grape, Don Juan Demarco the list goes on… even on 21 jump street he was fucking solid… THEN THEN THEN Came the big turn when he played hunter thompson in Fear and Loathing, and dont get me wrong, I love it as much as the next guy, but after that character he became more and more fucking obscure, but not in a progressive way… Not at all…  His obscurities were just one rip off of another of another of the last… they were all the same.. His character in The Ninth Gate, the exact same character he portrayed in From Hell… Sweeney Todd, about the same as Ichibod Crane with more slight eccentricities.  and willy wonka.. fuck me dont even get me started, what a fucking joke…  They are just combinations of each other at this point… NOT to say that it’s a bad thing..  I just don’t understand the praise for a man as the greatest character actor that EVER lived.  He is not at all, his work is that of a method actor, and a mediocre method actor at that… and please tell me that Captain Sparrow isnt Hunter Thompson with an accent, dreads and a fu manchu.. what a fucking joke… Kieth Richards was in the 3rd pirates film for less than 2 minutes and he portrayed the same character much more convincingly…  Dont get me wrong, all of his movies are good.. he is quite good.. he just gets too much praise for being something that he isn’t… what he IS, is a self centered dick of a man that wont leave his house in france unless you pay him 30 million dollars… yes please lets all worship this man.. hes done something to warrant that…


Woooo moving along, Joe Carnahans version of the ATEAM is almost fully cast they’ve begun principal photography in Vancouver, Liam Neeson is hannibal, Bradley Cooper is Face, Sharlto Copley, (if you dont know who he is, watch District 9) is Murdoch and Rampage Jackson is BA Baracus…  Along with Patrick wilson sporting the supporting vehicle and Jessica Biel as a military love interest for face I believe…  Anyways whats known so far is that they’re going old school with this one.. same story line as the first season, yet with much less camp and a lot more violence.. They’re even keeping the original fucking van… STOKED!


Karate Kid remake… fuck off….  Will Smiths wiener of a child Jaden smith is filling the role of Macchio… yeah… makes perfect sense.. lets have a 4 year old black kid play a 19 year old white kids part in the remake..  Why the fuck are they remaking the Karate Kid in the first place? How fucking retarded do you have to be?… waste of fucking money… Hollywood will not stop until they’ve cheated you out of your entire paycheck…


Speaking of originality.. What happened?.. Where did it all go… I mean we used to see shit like Tron and War Games, and fucking ET and Jurassic Park and all these fun eye opening adventures that people would gladly shell out the cash to go see.. now more often than not we’re disappointed when leaving the cinema… Everything we see now is some form of recycled dribble from one era or another… Why do I want to see Halloween 2 in theaters? I FUCKIN SAW THAT SHIT 15 YEARS AGO… What the fuck… whats the point… “I Reimagined it” noo you fucking RUINED IT… You’re all fucking stupid… THE ONLY shit that should be made into big hollywood movies are NOVELS or 80’s tv shows… Why do I need an update… Did you know that the fox studios are already talking about a Fantastic 4 Reboot… WTF WHY?! you fucked it up like 37 seconds ago… what fucking difference does it make now.. They’re talking about another superman reboot… WHY WHY WHY…?!?  If they would have left the FIRST one alone… it would be legendary… no sequels, nothing.. that movie as a standalone film IS legendary, but could you imagine the power it could have had, had there not been 900  million other superman super baby super girl super woman steel fucking movies out there… you RUINED it you fucking ruined it… rot in hell…

Holy fuck I could go on ALL DAY but I really have to work… So, how about soak that shit in and check out this gnarly looking bad ass trailer for Harry Brown, with Michael Caine.


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